You Don't Need To Understand

I miss all the time we spent together. I miss how we used to talk, night and day, everyday. I miss sneaking out of the house at ungodly hours just to see you. I miss all the joking around we used to do. We used to joke around about everything. I miss the way I reached out and tugged lightly at your hair that one time, feeling the smooth strand between my fingers and being bewildered on how I had never payed attention to that aspect of your beauty before. I miss saying 'bizarre' in that funny accent, and making you laugh. Oh God, your beautiful laugh, the most amazing sound I've ever heard in my entire short existence. I miss the way your eyes, shining pools of the darkest grey, widened every time I said that part of me hurt. Your eyes are an entity of their own. Concern is something I haven't gotten a lot, and it felt really good knowing you cared. I miss how you used to talk non-stop, which was great because I barely spoke at all. I love the flow you maintained during every conversation. I miss feeling secure about the fact that there would always be one person in the entire world who understood all my pains, and could put up with the occasional bullshit behavior of mine.
I wish you could have put up with me that one time, the last time.

I'm broken without you. I miss you. I need you. I still love you. I'm sorry.