Scheiße is ultra feminist. But it's Lady Gaga, so i'll listen to it.

I long for colder nights. Where I can stay under my blanket each night without having to deal with the heat. The heat is a bitch. It interrupts my thought of you. I wonder what you do each night. All I want to do is hold you and tell you not to cry. I know you're crying.

I missed the eclipse. Heard it was trippy. A red moon does sound cool. Wonder if anyone wished upon it. It would be cool, wishing upon the moon. Why did I miss it?

Cause I'm gonna drink until I die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die.

Home is a place where I feel like I can no longer stay for a long length of time. If it were up to me, I would eat out, sleep over at a friend's place, hang out in the arcade or park or in some back alley the rest of the time smokin' all that good stuff. But I have responsibilities. So home is where I stay.

I like Judas. One of Gaga's best songs.

Even though I'm all alone.
All I know when you are gone,
Is that I just wanna keep you warm.

Please come back.

Cause when I'm all alone,
I think about your face.
And how I wanna touch you,
But I'm so far away.

Something you did. I could never tell whether you were serious about it or not, whether it was a token of affection or a sign of ridicule.

I know you got impatient as the time passed.
You said you want it fast; define fast?

Because I could speed it up and make it last. 
I could audition for this,
I could be part of the cast.
I could produce for your future,
I could co-direct your past,
And make damn sure that you never forget it.

No option for you saying no.
I run this game; just play your role.
Follow my lead, what you waiting for?
Thought it over and decided tonight is the night.

This looks like me, methinks.

I miss all the time we spent together. I miss how we used to talk, night and day, everyday. I miss sneaking out of the house at ungodly hours just to see you. I miss all the joking around we used to do. We used to joke around about everything. I miss the way I reached out and tugged lightly at your hair that one time, feeling the smooth strand between my fingers and being bewildered on how I had never payed attention to that aspect of your beauty before. I miss saying 'bizarre' in that funny accent, and making you laugh. Oh God, your beautiful laugh, the most amazing sound I've ever heard in my entire short existence. I miss the way your eyes, shining pools of the darkest grey, widened every time I said that part of me hurt. Your eyes are an entity of their own. Concern is something I haven't gotten a lot, and it felt really good knowing you cared. I miss how you used to talk non-stop, which was great because I barely spoke at all. I love the flow you maintained during every conversation. I miss feeling secure about the fact that there would always be one person in the entire world who understood all my pains, and could put up with the occasional bullshit behavior of mine.
I wish you could have put up with me that one time, the last time.

I'm broken without you. I miss you. I need you. I still love you. I'm sorry.

My mother and I bond sometimes. We share cigarettes. We smoke in the bathroom, near the exhaust fan, so that the smell won't be prominent if any guest comes over.
I like my mother, and how she includes me in whatever she does. I'm her only child, and she treats me like one.

I'm confused, tell me where did we go wrong?
I was sure that I would be with you for really long.

I was planning on this being something worth mentioning,
Energy invested in someone I saw potential in.

Who killed chivalry?
They need to get their sentencing.

Meanwhile, we're arguing, and I can't get a sentence in.

It's like every time we spent time, it felt like the first time.

We never spent enough time.

You caught me at the worst time.

Why does Blogger congratulate me when I follow someone's blog? You guys must be hella precious.
And I just realized that I loathe my banner. Why'd I even make it?

And yes. I'm a bit.. heartbroken. Heartshattered, more like. I may talk about it sometimes. You best ignore me when I do.

I thought I should introduce myself. But I dunno what to say.
I made this blog for no particular reason. Except the one that maybe I'll find someone who cares for the side of me that I never show anyone. The broken side.

Been 'bloghopping' or whatever the term is. Found some cool stuff. People here are cool.
Since I have nothing to do most of the time, I might stick with this thing. It's a good feeling knowing that it'll stick back.

I have had a blog before, though it wasn't really a 'blog' in those days. Tons of random shit. Which I'll spew out here too, most probably. But at least I'll be able to call it the shit of an actual blog.

Being in Pakistan evokes mixed emotions for me. I don't fit in. I want to go back, even though it's impossible. But in a way, I like this place. The place, not the people. Though I've spotted some Pakistani people here. On this blogwagon thing. Which is kinda nice. Kinda. They may be the type I would like.

Gonna look for more stuff to read here now.

How do you end a post? Bye?
Bye.

I feel stupid.

Nothing matters except for you.
Don't let no one out here blind you.
Don't remember why you love me?
Please allow me to remind you.